Smuzzed

Here it is, folks. Britney Spears' album cover for Circus in all its airbrushed/Wait is that Heather Locklear? glory. As if the Internet wasn't a flutter enough, Britney's also released the full track listing - plus bonus song! HOLY SHIT BALLS! I'm practically speechless right now. Fortunately, "Super Fan" on the Britney Spears.com message board has left a comment that echoes exactly how I feel:

Ooooo…..MMMMMM…….GGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!…….
Brit ♥~~~ Your Cover is Amazing!!!
I Love You So Much!!~~~♥♥♥♥
Come To Taiwan, Please………….
Come to Taiwan, Please Come to Taiwan, Please Come to Taiwan, Please
Come to Taiwan, Please Come to Taiwan, Please Come to Taiwan, Please
Come to Taiwan, Please Come to Taiwan, Please Come to Taiwan, Please
I Need You!!~~~~~~~♥♥

Yeah, all that stuff. (Minus the 110% chance that a trip to Taiwan will end in Britney Spears being made into a coat.)

While other celebrity chicks are slutting it up for Halloween, Kate Moss is staying true to the holiday's roots by flying to L.A. and scaring the bejeezus out of Angelenos with her natural looks. Keep in mind that Moss is a) only 34 years old and b) earns millions of dollars every year based solely on the fact that she's supposed to be good-looking. Guess these are the results of lifetime spent slamming heroin directly into your eyeballs and hoovering up so much coke that your septum has more holes than the single-bullet theory. If this is the standard for supermodels these days then Abe Vigoda might as well throw on a pair of silk panties and pasties and hit up Calvin Klein for a contract. On the plus side, America's economic crisis doesn't seem nearly as scary compared to the fact that, if you're a male, you've probably had a sexual fantasy about this monstrosity sometime within the last few years. Yeah, I know; it's no king-size Snickers bar, but times are tough everywhere. Now get off my porch!

Looking happily in love as they strolled arm-in-arm, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens were spotted arriving at LAX Airport in Los Angeles, California on Friday (October 31).

Just back in time for the Halloween festivities, the Disney co-star couple are returning from a trip to Mexico for the Mexico City premeire of “High School Musical 3: Senior Year”.

Okay, last one. (For today.) Here's Kendra Wilkinson at Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's Halloween party in Manhattan last night. I have no idea what she's supposed to be, but who the hell cares look at that butt. In the meantime, I should probably start finding out what's happening in the real world. Al Qaeda could've blown up Tom Cruise, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, and the only thing I'd have to say for myself is "Kim Kardashian dressed up like Wonder Woman." Because I kick ass!

Quickly approaching the kickoff of her annual Halloween party later on tonight, Heidi Klum and husband Seal were spotted out in New York City on Friday afternoon (October 31).

The couple strolled hand in hand sporting badges in support of Presidential candidate Barack Obama, with Seal even throwing on a Barack mask for a short while.

Hard at work on the Halloween holiday, Jessica Alba was spotted on the set of her new movie “An Invisible Sign of My Own” in Staten Island, New York City on Friday afternoon (October 31).

Happy to be back behind the cameras following the birth of daughter Honor Marie Warren, Jessica plays a school teacher in the film - looking very scholastic on the set as she hobbled around on crutches.

Still overseas promoting her new album “Breakout,” Miley Cyrus was spotted leaving the hotel George V hotel in Paris, France on Friday (October 31).

The “Hannah Montana” starlet offered up a smile as she flashed the peace sign, doing her best to wade through the throng of fans and paparazzi crowding the swanky hotel’s entrance.

Here's Tracy Bingham showing up to some Halloween party dressed as a naughty police officer or something. Yes, that's right, more photos of celebrities in costume on Halloween. Shocking, I know. I didn't win this Pulitzer by delivering the expected. No, it was my bold reporting and for really going after the stories nobody else would cover. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cover something about an "economies." I'm not exactly sure what that is, but apparently it's in bad shape and somebody's got to report about it! NOTE: Digging the headlines? I can do this all day. And by can I mean I am. WHEE!* *Brought to you by sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and whatever the hell's in these Pixie Sticks I just snorted.

Enjoying a little husband/wife time, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were spotted leaving their apartment to go out for lunch in New York City on Friday (October 31).

Staying in the Big Apple as Katie continues her work on “All My Sons,” the “Top Gun” hunk and his “Mad Money” bride are then set to focus on making this Halloween the best ever for 2-year-old daughter Suri.

While its been Britney Spears that has taken on the schoolhouse pick-up duties as of late, Kevin Federline stepped out to grab up Sean Preston and Jayden James from school in Los Angeles on Friday (October 31).

With the two boys dressed up in matching bumble bee outfits, K-Fed and his nanny helper toted the young’ens out from the learning experience and on to bigger and better things - trick-or-treating!