Smuzzed

Heidi Montag has supposedly moved into the house of Cougar Zank, the former Marine who previously lived with Heidi and Spencer as their bodyguard. This news has sent Spencer into a fit of jealousy because he was almost positive crystals turned other dude#8217;s gay. It said so right in the instructions. RadarOnline reports:
But when [...]
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Here#8217;s Kim Kardashian in Miami over the weekend where she somehow hung out with Christina Aguilera. I don#8217;t know how something like that even happens, but I#8217;m more surprised with the fact Kim actually looks like she didn#8217;t alert the paparazzi to her presence. (Exhibit A: butt crack.) That aside, clearly I was way off [...]
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Here#8217;s Catherine Zeta Jones at the 64th Annual Tony Awards last night where she trotted out Michael Douglas for, what I can only assume, were purely soup-based reasons. I don#8217;t know if the Welsh are asexual or incapable of shame, but I#8217;ll never understand the mechanics of this relationship. Seriously, not a single person is [...]
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Apparently Simon Monjack had two secret love-children that not even his family or Brittany Murphy knew about. His mother and brother discovered e-mails on his laptop which they handed over to the police despite Brittany#8217;s mom begging them not to. TMZ reports:
At some point they went through the computer and found emails from two women [...]
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If I was 16 years old with gold bars falling out of my acne, I#8217;d probably buy myself a girlfriend willing to have sex on camera so kids on my bus won#8217;t think I#8217;m a liar. Which explains how Kim Kardashian ended up on this photo shoot with Justin Bieber in the Bahamas. On that [...]
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Someone apparently thought it#8217;d be a great idea to invite Lindsay Lohan to a fitness event, so here she is at the MuscleMilk Light Retreat on Saturday where she pretended to take boxing lessons. I say #8220;pretend#8221; because it#8217;s pretty much a given Lindsay can#8217;t take a punch or she#8217;ll explode into the world#8217;s first [...]
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Here#8217;s Megan Fox#8217;s photo shoot for the July 2010 issue of Interview where she apparently dismembers a mannequin version of herself after raping it in a hallway. Because Interview is a magazine by and for celebrities blowing each other, I#8217;m going to assume this is some sort of metaphor for having your picture taken while [...]
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And now to complete the Famewhore Trifecta.
Here#8217;s Kim Kardashian in Miami today where she conveniently wrapped her ass in a sarong before going out in front of all the paparazzi she just called. Apparently she#8217;s in town for a friend#8217;s bachelorette party, so it#8217;s nice to see she squeezed in some Kim-time before having [...]
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- Jodie Foster may or may not have beat-up a 17-year-old who may or may not be a paparazzo. But she#8217;s definitely a lesbian. We do know that. [Popeater]
- John Goodman should have a chat with Jessica Simpson. [DListed]
- Holly Madison is a national treasure. I haven#8217;t said that in a while. [Hollywood Tuna]
- Salma [...]
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So it turns out January Jones may have been shit-faced when she performed a hit-and-run last night. What follows is the most random tale ever featuring Bobby Flay and absolutely no paparazzis chasing the Walk of Shamer. TMZ reports:
We spoke with Flay, who tells us he was watching the basketball game last night at The [...]
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