Smuzzed

Halle Berry’s ex Gabriel Aubry recently filed a petition for custody of their daughter Nahla which for the most part was written off as a formality because the couple was handling their visitation schedule amicably. Except that’s boring, so here’s RadarOnline with tales of a paranoid Halle Berry hiring private investigators and demanding Gabriel live Read More …

- Kimora Lee Simmons is fascinated by baby boy penises.
- Ke$ha was fostered by the Lohans?
- January Jones for Victoria’s Secret. That’s all I saw here.
- Jenna Bentley might have a moth problem at her house.
- Alessandra Ambrosio in Harper’s Bazaar.
- Miranda Kerr wants you Read More …

Yesterday, the Internet exploded with breathless reports of Ricky Gervais going “too far” as the host of The 68th Annual Golden Globes despite being hilarious and pissing on these people to their faces. Or basically the exact opposite of me in all respects. Anyway, he was supposedly canned mid-show and banned from future broadcasts after Read More …

Considering she’s somehow managed to completely duck the label of adulteress despite obviously cheating on Hans Molemen with Matthew Rutler, you’d assume Christina Aguilera would keep her nose clean and quietly ride the wave of acceptance Hollywood somehow continues to offer her. Instead, she’s been shitting on fans, and now she’s starting random catfights with Read More …

Almost as if she sensed I needed an excuse to post more of this dress, January Jones has apparently sobered up enough to realize she’s been having sex with SNL star Jason Sudeikis, according to People who conveniently left out all the drunk stuff:
The pair, who were first linked romantically last July, are calling it Read More …

With every celebrity and their brother having a baby right now, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban weren’t about to let an uninhabitable uterus keep them from the latest Hollywood fad. Which is why they’ve announced today they have a brand new baby via a surrogate that they’re both apparently the biological parents of. The AP Read More …

- Ricky Gervais killed. End of story.
- Paz de la Huerta = Courtney Love + Amy Winehouse – self-esteem.
- Alexa Chung is really awesome at live television.
- Reese Witherspoon cares about the homeless. In front of a camera.
- Aubrey O’Day throws down the Twitter gauntlet to Coco. Read More …

And now back to the Golden Globes.
Not that I’m trying to go all Sarah Palin on you – *quickly erases crosshairs* – but here’s a quick look at the man who thought knocking up Natalie Portman would be an awesome idea. His name? Benjamin Millepied, which is only slightly less ridiculous than “Lord Smuggerton” Read More …

After rekindling America’s love affair with unrealistic lesbian sex, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis have been red carpet staples this awards season thanks to their work in Black Swan. Despite essentially committing a crime against nature (i.e. this), Natalie’s the one getting all the credit while Mila tags along looking just, just awesome. Sure, she’s Read More …

Do I even need to write anything?
Despite honoring the star of Little Fockers with a Cecil B. DeMille Award, playing the music on Pacino, and nominating The Tourist as a comedy just so Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie would show up, The 68th Annual Golden Globes still managed to attract 98% of Hollywood last night Read More …