Smuzzed

Presumably to pitch their own reality show considering just last week she was pregnant with a baby that literally anybody could’ve been the father of, Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley were spotted shopping for a “promise ring” over the weekend at Kay Jewelers. Of course, the whole thing would’ve looked less staged if Gary didn’t Read More …

Since its Friday, we decided to go ahead and shoot you in the eyes since you have all weekend to recover, so here’s Gary Shirley, baby daddy to Amber Portwood and basically the perfect specimen of masculine perfection. Because what better use for sudden wealth than low-rise jeans, graphic tees and a Dodge Avenger? It’s Read More …

Because God has truly forsaken us, Teen Mom star Amber Portwood sold nude photos of herself which sounds highly unusual for someone who puts on make-up first thing in the morning and smiles directly at the paparazzi for exclusive photos. Trust me, I know. RadarOnline reports:
The controversial Teen Mom star posed for the photos a Read More …

Despite Teen Mom being a positive learning experience filled with life lessons so valuable, eight out of the 10 people who combine to form Rosie O’Donnell approve, Amber Portwood has reportedly taken three at-home pregnancy tests, all with positive results, according to RadarOnline:
“When Amber tested positive, she decided to go to a local clinic to Read More …

And that message is, Babies = Money for Implants. I’m on board.
While Kim Kardashian has become a vocal opponent of MTV’s Teen Mom conveniently before her own show premiered, Rosie O’Donnell has come out in support of the reality show which she feels teaches kids a valuable lesson. Us Magazine reports:
“I have to say it’s Read More …

Can you tell someone has a new show coming out?
While visiting the Today Show yesterday, moral crusader Kim Kardashian found herself experiencing emotions beyond, “Hey, look at me,” and “Why are you not looking at me?” Turns out she was disturbed by the recent report of a Memphis high school that had 90 teens give Read More …

When the New York Jets squeaked out a last minute field goal against Peyton Manning and the Colts on Saturday, there’s nothing anyone could do but blame Jesus who was clearly pissed off about something that day. I just wish we had some sort of clue what that was so we can burn it at Read More …

“And it’s nothing I don’t already do for free/meth. Hmm…”
Vivid Entertainment’s Steven Hirsch is out of his fucking mind. When he’s not trying to fulfill some sick, twisted obsession with providing shelter for Octomom, he’s pursuing people who have absolutely no place being in porn. People like, oh I dunno, Amber Portwood. Hollywood Life reports:
A Read More …

See that face? That’s why you always wear a condom. Even if you’re married.
Earlier in the month it was reported that Teen Mom Amber Portwood decided it’d be a smart idea to assault Gary Shirley again while she’s currently facing felony charges for beating him in front of an entire MTV audience and more importantly Read More …

Seen here fulfilling her family’s dream to be the first grandkid to make bail in 24 hours, Teen Mom star Amber Portwood has apparently changed her tune about MTV paying her to assault Gary Shirley, according to RadarOnline:
Paperwork filed by prosecutors says that Portwood admitted her violent incidents were not staged for MTV. She made Read More …