Smuzzed

Because A-Rod clearly prefers a strong, unyielding arm up the anus, here’s a ripped Cameron Diaz leaving a Venice Beach gym yesterday. Unfortunately for her, I can see the semblance of a breast so this relationship was doomed before it even began. It’s a hard truth, but someone has to tell her before she spends Read More …

Because A-Rod clearly prefers a strong, unyielding arm up the anus, here’s a ripped Cameron Diaz leaving a Venice Beach gym yesterday. Unfortunately for her, I can see the semblance of a breast so this relationship was doomed before it even began. It’s a hard truth, but someone has to tell her before she spends Read More …

- The Black Eyed Peas committed more rape than Ben Roethlisberger. Let’s put it like that.
- Shauna Sand recorded a song about porn. — We thank you this day, O’ Lord…
- Speaking of sexual abominations, Hugh Hefner has a few words on touching yourself.
- Jake Gyllenhaal is banging Carey Mulligan now. Read More …

“We’re going streaking!”
For reasons known only to a Macanudo and a butler who can keep a secret, Bill Clinton joined Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez for dinner in Miami last night. Now, I’m not suggesting he offered A-Rod one million dollars to sleep with Cameron Diaz, but I’m also not suggesting it wasn’t really two Read More …

- Lady GaGa is still exposing herself to Paris.
- Stephen Baldwin claims Kevin Costner screwed him.
- Dina Lohan claims she never told Lindsay not to take a breathalyzer. Which means she did.
- John Mayer is telling random women how to have sex now.
- Miley Cyrus and Kelly Osbourne are Read More …

Did I say George Clooney? Clearly I meant Jesus.
George Clooney paid Cameron Diaz and Alex Rodriguez a surprise visit in Mexico yesterday proving my theory that he sits in trees all day waiting for hot chicks to show up. Except in this case old age failed him because it’s only Cameron Diaz who naturally fell Read More …

Cameron Diaz continued her Mexico vacation yesterday so here’s another round of bikini shots to start your morning off. Although I should probably warn you there’s not going to be a set of Megan Fox pics to soften the blow, these are actually slightly better than the first set. And I’m not just saying that Read More …

“White girl all putting her ass up in my face… I was on 227!”
I’m not even going to lie to you guys and pretend these bikini photos of Cameron Diaz in Mexico yesterday serve any legitimate purpose outside of being posted before Megan Fox so you won’t have to look at a gaping mouth at Read More …