Mar 26

'Why does she always look like she’s been captured in the act of stumbling. She has the poise and grace of Stephen Hawkings.' 'I think people are missing the most tragic part of all this: 'I’m so over people bringing this past shit up!!!' contains a split infinitive.' 'Others Lady Gaga has labeled a genius:Madonna, her producers, her costume designer, gay people, the girl who makes her coffee, her dog, a photo of Albert Einstein, a toaster, some toast…' 

Welcome to the 20th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, and this week, I just want to say a huge, sincere thanks to how well you guys have taken to The Crap We Missed. It’s gone from pulling teeth to find great comments to Photo Boy (He’s gonna love that nickname.) and Read More …



Mar 19

'Usher says hugging me like this feels really good. And he’s right!' 'I don’t think her hands are big enough to cover up the parts I don’t want to see.' 'And that was when I tied her to the garbage cans outside for three days, your honor.' 

Welcome to the 19th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, or more aptly titled, “Ke$ha and Justin Bieber Get Molested By Your Words.” But before digging into to the smooth, commenty center, a special thanks to the following people:
1. Every single person on this Kirstie Alley thread.
2. “Satan’s Bitch” for finding Boner Read More …



Mar 12

'When her manager said, 'Leave it all on the stage,' I’m pretty sure this isn’t what he meant.' 'Paula Poundstone looks great.' 'Only YOU can prevent regular showers.' 

Welcome to the 18th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet making this feature old enough to vote and no longer something I have to hide from Chris Hansen. (I swear I never touched it there until today.) On that sexy note, I’m going to get out of the way of this beauty Read More …



Mar 5

'This is about as intimidating as being cussed out by Fievel from An American Tail.' 'Is she saying, 'Make my yamma jam?' 'Tonight on Tales from the Crypt...' 

Welcome to the 17th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, and we’ve got a short gallery this time around which I completely understand. You had Charlie Sheen flaming out and machine gun-firing gold in the process that even I didn’t want to follow and that’s how I earn a paycheck. So on Read More …



Feb 26

'Never has a picture more completely captured the thought of 'Hey, did I leave my butt plug in?'' 'I’m Johnny Knoxville, and this is To Catch a Predator.' 'Chewie, start the Falcon!' 

Welcome to the 16th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, and this edition is extra special because strategically placed within are every single photo from the Gary Shirley ass-crack post. Think of them as hairy landmines – with a tail. In the meantime, I want to give a special thanks to the Read More …



Feb 19

'Curse you, billion-dollar lottery ticket! You've brought us nothing but unfathomable wealth and moderate inconvenience!' 'There’s something about Mary... and it’s a penis.' 'So Freud has this, mmmmmmfffm, interesting theory, mmmmmffffffffmmmm, about fathers and daughters, mmmmfffffffmmm.' 

Have a seat right over there.
Welcome to the 15th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet, and Christ, did you people bring your game this week. It got to the point where my photo editor and I were getting into slap-fights over which comments to include until we made up over pedis. Totally Read More …



Feb 12

'He kicked her off the stage because he realized she likes her Rain Golden not Purple.' 'I’m afraid if I click “View Full Size" my monitor will topple over.' 'Unbreakable? Yes. The bond between man and beast can be quite strong.' 

Welcome to the 14th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which is light in quantity but heavy in Khloe & Lamar Beast Sex jokes. Thanks to our New York voyage we might’ve missed more gems than usual this week, so to make it up to you, I added a little something after Read More …



Feb 5

'Tits? Where we’re going we don’t need tits...' 'So an entire mob of those pussies couldn't win a fight with Anderson Cooper? I don't get what Israel is so worried about.' 'You're Desssssssspicable.' 

Welcome to the lucky number 13 installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which happens to be our second largest, and probably most offensive. Then again, you’ll have this when Anderson Cooper is put in a situation involving fists, and Spider-Man is given super power bottom strength. But it’s not all man-love jokes: Read More …



Jan 29

You keep showing Paul Stanley in that bikini and it's making me feel all kinds of funny.' 'This one was programmed to find Sarah Connor.' 'Mendenhall goes up the middle!' 

Welcome to The Most Important People on The Internet volume that officially makes these bad boys a veritable dozen in an egg crate of WTF. — I have no idea what I just said. At any rate, what this week’s collection lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality and SNL references that will Read More …



Jan 22

'Ms. Suleman, we have reason to believe one of your children may be a spy. And a Tony Danza fan.' 'Just do porn alrea- Oh, wait.' 'And, you know, the thing about Jennifer Lopez… she’s got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll’s eyes. When she comes at ya, doesn’t seem to be living… until she bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then… and then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin’….' 

Welcome to the 11th installment of The Most Important People on The Internet which, as you can see, involves Octomom whipping a grown man in a diaper, so you know it’s going to be classy. In fact, I’ve even put on a top hat and cummerbund – and that’s about it.
Leaving you to it, old Read More …



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