Smuzzed

“I DRANK THE WHOLE PLANE.”
Here’s a makeup-less Jessica Simpson arriving at LAX today looking a little too jolly for someone who’s probably heard the words “stomach staple” mumbled at least five time this week by Tracy Anderson. Then again, I’m assuming she’s still working out despite overwhelming evidence suggesting otherwise because I’m pretty sure Jessica Read More …

“Please… I need butter…”
Do not adjust your monitors. This is Jessica Simpson leaving a gym yesterday where she’s been working out with Tracy Anderson, the woman behind Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow’s current figures, although I’m sure she touts the latter way more than the former.
JESSICA: So, who was your last client?
TRACY: This corpse.
JESSICA: Ohmygod, she’s Read More …

Here’s Jessica Simpson making me wonder how she hasn’t remarried sooner by stumbling shit-faced out of Katsuya last night which has to be a joy and a delight for Eric Johnson. Then again, do giant breasts compensate for the stench of booze and digested sushi wafting out of a face that makes you wonder if Read More …

“Take me to butter. And step on it.”
While news of an engagement was falsely reported a year ago in what I can only assume was an effort to inflate Rocky Road futures, Tony Romo officially proposed to his girlfriend Candice Crawford yesterday, according to Us Magazine:
Dating since September 2009, Romo, 30, proposed to Crawford (a Read More …

Huge breasts? Check.
Everyone always thinks she’s pregnant? Check.
Questionable face? *looks up* Ha! Where did that come from? Check.
I rest my case.
- Michael Moore gave $20 grand toward Julian Assange’s bail.
- So that’s what happened to Thora Birch…
- Gwyneth Paltrow’s face: What’s going on?
- January Jones is naked. Theoretically. Read More …