Smuzzed

Shortly after I cashed out on Friday thanks to a Charlie Sheen overdose, Mel Gibson appeared in court where prosecutors either gave him a slap-on-the-wrist plea deal because of the precedent they set with Chris Brown (You just read that.), or simply feared dying in a courthouse fire. Regardless, his only penance to society is Read More …

Because California has a strict Keep Rich Women-Beaters Out of Jail policy (See here and here.), Mel Gibson struck a plea deal with prosecutors today where he’ll plead guilty to simple battery, but won’t face jail time and only has to attend counseling. His lawyer issued the following bullshit statement to TMZ that essentially asserts Read More …

Presumably to protect the dues for their local Jew-Hating chapter, Mel Gibson has launched a crusade to save Charlie Sheen’s life which could also be a ploy to find himself knee-deep in blowjobs so he doesn’t kill again. Let’s assume all that stuff. E! News reports:
Gibson has been reaching out to the Two and a Read More …

I feel like when I was 13 and I had to go to bar mitzvahs every weekend. This is the same feeling. You have to put on a suit every weekend to go meet with a bunch of Jews.”
- Jesse Eisenberg describing awards season and inadvertently admitting Hollywood is run by Jews much to the Read More …

“So I says to her, I says, ‘Perhaps you might blow me,’ and she turns around and slaps me with domestic violence charges, Jesus. I mean, how does that work? You gotta help old Mel outta this jam, buddy. This is the last one. I promise.”
Despite the fact it’s pretty much a given Oksana Grigorieva Read More …

In case you thought outrageous claims against Mel Gibson were over with the start of the new year, Oksana Grigorieva apparently just now remembered Mel used to beat her during sex because that’s the only way he can get an erection. Then again, something like that’s easy to forget. Like where you left your keys, Read More …

Winona Ryder appears in the new issue of GQ (above) where she recounts an incident with Mel Gibson who, to his credit, forwent the threats of arson-based oral rape and stuck to good ol’ fashioned anti-Semitism, like a gentleman:
“I remember, like, fifteen years ago, I was at one of those big Hollywood parties. And Read More …