Mar 24

   

“As you can see in these photographs, your honor, clearly a man taking such care of a tiny dog he’s never been seen with before can’t be guilty of Kate Major’s accusations. A woman who, if I were a lesser man, might say deserved a foot to the meatbox, but I digress. So, again, just Read More …



Mar 3

   

Almost out of nowhere, it was announced yesterday that Michael Lohan joined the cast of Celebrity Rehab despite recently starting work as a rehab consultant and you know, not being addicted to anything besides having his face on television. Since then, Lindsay has grown concerned her dad will spill family secrets and has no clue Read More …



Jan 24

   

Michael Lohan has come forward to confess that it he was him, not Lindsay Lohan, who bribed the now-fired Betty Ford employee Dawn Holland in exchange for her silence. Except Michael Lohan is an idiot because he wants you to believe he bribed Dawn Holland into being quiet about how guilty Dawn Holland is. Makes Read More …



Jan 4

   

Samantha Ronson tried to leave her Venice Beach apartment building yesterday, only to find a moving van blocking the exit while unloading boxes into the building directly next to hers. Annoying, but hey, these things happen. Then she found out who the moving van belonged to: The new-and-improved Lindsay Lohan who’s clearly learned so much Read More …



Dec 20

   

Because I’m not a 60-year-old Kentucky resident on a Medicare-provided scooter, I don’t get overly concerned with government spending to mask my fear of the browning of America. However, finding out the FBI is using taxpayer money to investigate Lindsay Lohan’s alleged stalker is almost enough to make me turn on Glenn Beck and believe Read More …