Smuzzed

“I said, ‘I like my ‘jitos in a soda cup!’ Is this humidity making my hair look bad?”
If you haven’t seen it by now, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was caught on camera dancing during Carnival yesterday while watching Gisele Bundchen ride by on a float. Now, I’m not going to criticize the man’s skills because Read More …

While last week ended with Charlie Sheen and Mike Huckabee battling for Crazy Talk Throne, it seems only fair that this one should start with a supermodel in a bikini, thus restoring balance to the site. So here’s Gisele Bundchen vacationing in Brazil yesterday with Tom Brady who I took the liberty of also posting Read More …

Michael Vick apparently wants to end up like all those dogs he murdered because he just bailed on his first post-prison interview with Oprah of all people. When reached for comment, she put on a Viking helmet and starting singing “I’m gonna fuck that boy uuuuuppp” in a opera singer voice. TMZ reports:
“After careful consideration, Read More …

Christina Aguilera apparently botched her rendition of the National Anthem last night by swapping out the words “o’er the ramparts we watched” with “what so proudly we watched.” I honestly missed it because I couldn’t tell you the words if you put a gun to my head, and let’s be realistic, if you’re not popping Read More …

Last night, the Pittsburgh Steelers essentially cornered the drunk New York Jets in a club restroom and sort of “blacked out” for a minute. And while the championship game had numerous highlights, including Mark Sanchez wiping a booger on his teammate, nothing stood out more than Rashard Mendenhall celebrating the Steelers’ victory by essentially ambushing Read More …

Amidst an avalanche of controversy triggered by his penis, Brett Favre has officially filed retirement paperwork with the NFL again, according to FOXSports.com:
The 41-year-old quarterback stated 2010 was his final season after rejoining the Vikings in August and reiterated that intent throughout an injury-plagued campaign.
Favre’s NFL-record string of 297 consecutive regular-season starts ended last month Read More …

When he’s not being fined for failing to cooperate with penis photo investigations or sued for sexually harassing two masseuses at the same time, Brett Favre gets to watch his sister Brandi Favre be arrested for running a bathtub meth lab and have his name attached to every single headline across the U.S .because his Read More …

When the New York Jets squeaked out a last minute field goal against Peyton Manning and the Colts on Saturday, there’s nothing anyone could do but blame Jesus who was clearly pissed off about something that day. I just wish we had some sort of clue what that was so we can burn it at Read More …

Two former massage therapists for the New York Jets, Christina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole, have filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against Brett Favre, the Jets and Lisa Ripi, who’s hired massage therapists for the team for over thirteen years. Apparently Brett wasn’t saving his text love for just Jenn Sterger and was trying to spread Read More …

While earlier reports suggested Brett Favre would not suffer any consequences for sending sextual messages – including pictures of his penis – to New York Jets reporter Jenn Sterger in 2008, FOXSports.com reports Favre will, in fact, be fined by the NFL:
Commissioner Roger Goodell is likely to fine, but not suspend, Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Read More …