Mar 24

   

“And one of them just touched me. GUARDS!”
Earlier this week, an excerpt from Neil Strauss’ new book was posted online that depicted an 18-year-old Paris Hilton as a racist who regretted making out with Vin Diesel after realizing he was black-ish. Her rep has since issued the following statement claiming the quote is false and Read More …



Mar 22

   

In author Neil Strauss’ new book Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead, he shares an anecdote about meeting an 18-year-old Paris Hilton who opens up to him about getting implants at 14 until her mom made her take them out, wanting to pose for Playboy and making out with Vin Diesel before realizing he’s some Read More …



Jan 12

   

Whenever I actually find two hours to sit down and watch a movie, the first thing I do is make sure none of the characters are based off of Paris Hilton because my time is more precious than an adopted black baby occupied uterus. (Goddamn fashion.) Which is why I’d like to thank Seth Rogen Read More …



Dec 31

   

Okay, before anybody panics, let’s run down the list:
Idiot sperm donor? Check.
Non-impaired uterus? …. Pass.
Protruding stomach? Check.
Bigger boobs? Check.
Fatter ass? Check.
Belly rubbing thing pregnant chicks always do? Double check.
Horsemen of the apocalypse descending from the heavens? I saw a squirrel. Count it.
Ah, Jesus. Hopefully I’m wrong, and not just because Paris Hilton might read this Read More …



Dec 27

   

- The Palins are leaving Alaska.
- Richard Chamberlain: “Gay actors should never come out of the closet.”
- Katie Holmes is allowed to drive. With a chaperone.
- Karissa Shannon and Pete Ross spend time together before he gets shipped to jail.
- Erin Heatherton is your new Marisa Miller. Read More …



Dec 21

   

Coming less than 90 days after a double-knife-wielding intruder broke into her house with the holiest of intentions, Paris Hilton’s flight was evacuated this morning after a knife was found on board, according to her Twitter:
We were about to take off then security made everyone deplane because they found a big knife on board the Read More …



Dec 20

   

- Shania Twain got engaged to her ex’s mistress ex-husband.
- Clay Aiken’s got a new man.
- Vince Vaughn and his wife welcome a daughter while Jennifer Aniston continues to use her uterus to store Lean Cuisines.
- Alessandra Ambrosio was in a bikini, too.
- Lara Stone is topless. Read More …