Smuzzed

Presumably to pitch their own reality show considering just last week she was pregnant with a baby that literally anybody could’ve been the father of, Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley were spotted shopping for a “promise ring” over the weekend at Kay Jewelers. Of course, the whole thing would’ve looked less staged if Gary didn’t Read More …

Since its Friday, we decided to go ahead and shoot you in the eyes since you have all weekend to recover, so here’s Gary Shirley, baby daddy to Amber Portwood and basically the perfect specimen of masculine perfection. Because what better use for sudden wealth than low-rise jeans, graphic tees and a Dodge Avenger? It’s Read More …

Because God has truly forsaken us, Teen Mom star Amber Portwood sold nude photos of herself which sounds highly unusual for someone who puts on make-up first thing in the morning and smiles directly at the paparazzi for exclusive photos. Trust me, I know. RadarOnline reports:
The controversial Teen Mom star posed for the photos a Read More …

Despite Teen Mom being a positive learning experience filled with life lessons so valuable, eight out of the 10 people who combine to form Rosie O’Donnell approve, Amber Portwood has reportedly taken three at-home pregnancy tests, all with positive results, according to RadarOnline:
“When Amber tested positive, she decided to go to a local clinic to Read More …

Apparently she’s keeping them under wraps until her inevitable candid, yet entirely staged bikini photo shoot, Teen Mom star Maci Bookout is the second MTV prodigy to use her $140,000 per season to shove silicone in her chest, according to Life & Style, which is sadly not a reference to condoms:
“Maci did have breast-enlargement surgery,” Read More …

Because there’s not enough strife and cause for alarm in the world these days, the stars of Jersey Shore and Teen Mom were allowed to have a “girls’ night out” in New York City yesterday, effectively forming a three-headed hydra that can only be stopped by firing a morning after pill into its heart. There Read More …

Because there’s not enough strife and cause for alarm in the world these days, the stars of Jersey Shore and Teen Mom were allowed to have a “girls’ night out” in New York City yesterday, effectively forming a three-headed hydra that can only be stopped by firing a morning after pill into its heart. There Read More …

This explains the implants.
Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham appears in the 2011 Mastering the Art of the American Motorcycle Calendar which, don’t be fooled, actually has all kinds of hot chicks who unfortunately don’t fall under the purview of fair use. Anyway, Farrah has already held signing events where she sits next to all the Read More …

And that message is, Babies = Money for Implants. I’m on board.
While Kim Kardashian has become a vocal opponent of MTV’s Teen Mom conveniently before her own show premiered, Rosie O’Donnell has come out in support of the reality show which she feels teaches kids a valuable lesson. Us Magazine reports:
“I have to say it’s Read More …

Here’s Jenelle Evans, star of the second season of MTV’s Teen Mom demonstrating how you top a previous season that involved Dom DeLuise getting his ass beat by Mama Fratelli and Adam Lambert’s aborted love-child that somehow survived: Baby explosions. Which is clearly better than my idea of making one of the baby’s gay. I’m Read More …